Economic Boom

I am so tired of looking for work. I apply and apply and apply, and I don't even get a call back. Even the local writing that somehow managed to pop up doesn't want me. And we're talking shitty little magazines from the middle of nowhere.

I need to stop looking at friends' pictures online. It's seriously depressing seeing everyone else living their life whilst I am stuck here, in my parent's house, looking for work that doesn't exist, and hanging out with no one. What a grand story I'll have to tell my children -- I went to college, lived in Paris, transferred a few times, studied writing and French, and then I graduated. No it doesn't go on...the story ended there. What? You watch your mouth when you're talking to me!

um.

Anyway moving on: I'm so sad LJ has gone down the crapper. I really don't like this site whatsoever. No friendslock, no privacy leveling, no real friending...wtf? I mean yeah blogging is about blogging but it's nice to have the social aspect thrown in. Plus, I like icons, maybe because it soothes my inner graphic design geek.

Actually I probably could be out with friends if I wanted to...or well, felt like eating crow I guess? Not that I have any idea as to why I'd be eating it. I already ate it, three times, and if H is not going to accept or acknowledge my apology then what am I supposed to do? I'm not going to force a friendship with someone who I don't really like anymore. It's just sad really, we were pretty good friends I think, I had a lot of fun with H, she was silly and smart and genuinely seemed to care (well that is until she missed tragic life moment of all tragic life moments EVER -- wtf I can't even bold in this application? L A M E.) Well said tragic life moment surprised me a great deal and I was very angry but I have gotten over it...anger is gone but the incident isn't forgotten. I'm not going to hold it against her of course, I didn't really feel upset until I heard that she just plum forgot. Hard to forget incident I would've imagined but I guess not.

It's just sad, after all these years and all these laughs that I'm the only one who feels there's something worth fighting for. I suppose I never should have went on that trip with her. I'm still embarassed about what happened. When I am taken as far away as possible from my comfort zone strange things act up...then at least, now not so much. Anxiety is a viscious and cruel beast and that coupled with tragic moment pulled the rug from my feet for months and I acted a bit odd. I don't think I'm me anymore, it completely changed my personality and I often wonder if that's why I lost my friends.

All I want is to be good, live my life, be happy, and have (good) friends and family around.

Just like the song says:

I want to live life
and always be true
I want to live life
and be good to you

And I wanna fly
and never come down
and live my life
and have friends around

...and making more friends would be easy

Attack of the mediocre bloggers

Does everyone have a blog now? I remember when I first started blogging and nobody had ever heard of the word, now everyone including your Aunt Mildred is online jabbering on about pie recipes and knitting advice. Professional blogs, business blogs, personal blogs, when did we get inundated by stuffy suits?

The lament of LJ will be long and sad.

First post

This is like the 3rd blog I've made so far for Paris. If I'm going to use all of this is beyond me, but at least I can host photos. Which is a good thing. Right, well I have nothing else to say. So, blog on or whatever.